haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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