he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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