hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
