I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
