Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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