Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
