i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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