My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
