I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
