I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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