Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
