just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
