My sheets look like a crime scene.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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