all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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