Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
how drunk are you?
Several
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
