My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
