In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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