brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
