I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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