I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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