No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
