two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
