So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
