Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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