Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The Olympian is in my bed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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