Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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