I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He better not be in your backpack
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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