he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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