I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
