so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
