Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
