did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
