my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
