lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
