My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
