Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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