I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
