i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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