stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
