New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
