Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
