I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
