Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
