So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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