he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
