dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
