Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You smell like stripper and shame
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
