I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
