ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she looked like the before picture.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
