I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
