sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
