YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
